Nearly half of Americans say they would rely on family or friends to carry out their wishes about end-of-life care, but most have never told anyone exactly what those wishes are. Poor or no planning regarding the management of final affairs can result in a gut-wrenching and painful time for family members - often breeding and fueling long-running family feuds.
Mediation can help adult children overcome lifelong patterns of behavior and family history to come together in making these decisions. Knowing the right questions to ask and having the nerve to ask them are areas where experienced mediators and facilitators can be invaluable.
Issues of intergenerational harmony, caregiver problems, housing decisions and financial and estate matters are increasingly affecting senior citizens, many of whom are living longer, healthier lives. Families often find themselves in conflict over the care of an elderly parent or the parent, with all faculties still very much intact, is feeling bullied by her children. For many families what should be an open discussion about aging parents and their needs, dissolves into a hostile confrontation based on past disagreements or perceived affronts.
Elder mediation helps families safely engage in the difficult conversations.
Mediations can be between the caregivers and their patient, between adult siblings and their parents, among siblings for the benefit of their parents.
Often times an open discussion can clear the air and allow the family to move forward in the best interests of all concerned.
Mediation helps family members:
- Voice individual concerns
- Identify issues to be addressed
- Attack the problem, not each other
- Establish a sense of equality while discussing issues
- Open communication to avoid misunderstandings
- Create an atmosphere of safety and respect for all members
- Find new ways of managing conflict and negotiating solutions
Denver Mediation Center can be helpful in facilitating these family discussions, asking the right questions, monitoring emotions, mediating differences of opinion. Please contact us if you would like our help with senior solutions.
